Every now and then G & I end up reminiscing about the craaazzzy choices that we both have made, our own and collective choices. And usually its me who goes in this trip and drags G along with me 🙂 but for the last couple of months, G has been agonizing about some decisions that he took and why he shouldn’t have and so on and so forth.
All of us have been at crossroads where we have had to choose between a personal choice, a no brainer, its what you have dreamed of, what is the best for you – versus – a collective choice, one that involves compromises that are not necessarily a-walk-in-the-park but more of a run-in-a-thorny-dense-woods. Of course in an ideal world, we all choose the one that is best for us but things rarely happen that way, does it?
So going back to our conversation about choices and decisions, I have never seen him beat himself up over his choices – both good and bad, that’s usually me 🙂 , he’s more of a laid back-take-things-as-they come kind of a person. I agonize over my choices, analyze the hell out of it but once I make it, I don’t question it (and try my best not to) and see it through no matter how how difficult or painful it is and how crazy I might seem doing it.
See, I started my Masters when I was 7.5 months pregnant with Vidyuth and started working at PMC when I was 8 months pregnant with Vishruth (both with pre-term labor scares). I delivered Vidyuth in the middle of my semester and went back to school in 10 days and went back to work in 6 weeks. Was it tough? You bet.
People around me thought I was crazy and somewhat extreme, not to mention pigheaded (I call it tenacity 🙂 They also thought that G was mad in supporting me with my choices. Would I have preferred to just deal with crazy coursework, have some semblance of a normal life and not deal with a newborn and family life combined with sleepless nights? Of course I would have preferred that but that’s not what I had at the moment and I really did want to pursue my masters. So instead of waiting for a perfect time, if something like that even existing, I chose to move ahead with my plans, work them around my life cos that’s how much I wanted it. And it resulted in some funny and memorable incidents 🙂 I was in class the day I eventually delivered Vidyuth. Apparently I was in labor and didn’t even realize until I went for my checkup, haha. And I had come into work only to realize I was having labor pains, of course they turned out to be Braxton-Hicks. Andi, do you remember the BART ride to Washington Hospital with me? And when I graduated, both Vidyuth (in my arms) and Vishruth (in my tummy) were there with me 🙂 along with my parents and of course G. Nice, isn’t it?
This short road trip down the memory lane did help both of us. We realized again that funny, memorable and crazzzy moments aside, most of the time you feel like you are treading in deep waters and it is a struggle to keep yourselves afloat. You also find yourselves knocked down more often but I have realized that the choices that knock you down the most are the ones that help you grow into the person you are now. Put simply, choices help you Grow! The knowledge from these experiences, from our choices, help one grow as a person.
Take the knowledge from your experience and you grow as a person. Never allow anyone to pick you up. Pick yourself up and dust yourself off and start moving forward again ~ Chef Marco Pierre White