Karadaiyaan Nonbu & other thoughts

So,today is Karadaiyaan Nonbu, where women pray for the longevity and good health of their spouses, fast until the nonbu time etc, etc (you get the picture). It is the South Indian (SI) version of karvachauth. While I was getting everything ready for the fast, my mind wandered to all the festivals/fasts/rituals or religious ceremonies that one observes during their lifetime and it stuck me that everyone of these festivals/ceremonies etc are geared towards men (doesn’t matter who – brothers, husbands, fathers etc). For example,I pray for my brother the day after pongal (its called kanu – SI version of Rakhi, then we have the nonbu. Even the ceremonies we conduct at home – shashtiabthapoorthy, bheema ratha shanti, sadabishekam are all when the man turns 60, 70 or 80.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not trying to get into a feminist/women-need-equal-rights mode here but almost all Hindu festivals/ceremonies/rituals are geared towards the male counterpart. All these beliefs promote the notion that a woman cannot exist without the man. Never once have I heard something where a brother is on a fast for his sister or a husband for his wife. Of course, men can still do that by their own choice but its not a norm or a ritual. If by any chance I don’t follow or forget these important rituals, then GOD FORBID something should happen!!

The Western Society is not that different from the Eastern Society, minus all the festivals/rituals. Women are always portrayed as delicate, clad in pink and always need somebody (Read MEN)to take care of them. I disagree. I love my husband and all but I don’t think I really am delicate or need him around me all the time to take care of me (and I hate Pink). I am pretty self sufficient and independent and don’t get weepy or teary eyed. Most of my friends are like that too.

I think it is the other way around, men have this need of getting their ego satisfied and what better way than taking care of somebody who is in need. Women are mentally and emotionally strong and they really don’t care if the guy brings you flowers or chocolates or huge diamond rings.Of course they would want their guy to be a good friend and companion and if that doesn’t happen, then they shift their focus to the material pleasure of the world.

So this brings me to my question: Do women really need men all the time to exist or is it the other way around? You know my answer already:)

~ Random thoughts by Laks


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